Thursday, January 04, 2007
THE MIND CLIT
by Bliatz on October 31, 2004
When I started writing this post, I wanted to nail this subject once and for all. I wanted to tell Kal and and the world what I mean by mind games, mind fucking, mental sex ... or however I should phrase the fact that to me, an important part of the kink happens in the mind. However, I'm not going to nail this in one single post. But I'll keep writing posts on this. I have to. It's as simple as that.
First, I want to state very clearly that I do not see mind and body as too seperate things. The point here is, that my body wants to be reached through my mind. And it can be reached in a deeper and much, much kinkier sense than by old fashioned, physical stimulation. For me to really be there, my mind clit must be stimulated. Now, what the hell does she mean by that?
See, my mind clit is erotically sensitive, just like the one between my legs. And, as the years of our marriage passes by, it becomes more and more so. When our relationship was new and sparkling, when we were madly in love and fucked like rabbits 2-3 times a day, the insanity of being in love made sure that my mind rested in my body. I was all body. A smell, a gaze, the mere promise of a touch. All this was sufficient to keep my mind clit happily erect and my body perpetually ready.
I think a lot of couples - who have been together for more than 10 years - knows that this euphoria subsides. Another kind of love replaces it. And when kids arrive, work gets tough and everyday takes its toll, the sex life suffers. Lust is difficult to find. And although men also lose their sex drive now and then, it seems that a lot of women simply lose interest. And it is my little theory, that one of the reasons for this is the fact that sex leaves their minds, and their mind clits are left untouched. Some women call it romance. Well, that may be one way to stimulate a mind clit, but it doesn't work on mine. I need a different kind of mind clit teasing, not being particularly romantic myself. We are all different, and out minds are reached in various ways. However, I think a lot of sex doesn't happen, because women's minds aren't teased, awoken, played with. And I think that this "fact" is emphasized even more in D/s type sex.
After realizing my submissive needs, I have been craving mindfucking like I crave water and food. I long for it. I don't know why this need is so strong, but I see it everywhere in submissives. I see it when Claire describes her inner monologue during a session. Mindfuck me! I see it when C. responds to B.'s leather glove stroking her face while he makes sure she remembers that she is his. I see Luci's mind thirsting, feel it's need like a strong current in everything she writes. And I sigh and re-read Neko's posts, because he rubs, licks and strokes Angel's mind clit with such domly love. To me, the mind play - as well as the ropes, the whips, the cuffs, the floggers and the blindfolds - is the very heart of D/s.
It's like this: I can have my nipples sucked and fingers slided between my thighs. I can be tied up, blindfolded and slapped in the ass. I can be fucked hard and long, from every possible position. But it almost amounts to the same old vanilla fucking, if my mind is left untouched and starving. My body will respond, yes. Of course it will, it's not dead... I will get horny and wet - and I will orgasm. But if my mind clit isn't touched, stroked or rubbed, the cuffs and the toys will feel as just "vanilla paraphernalia". My depths will not be reached. My mind will still be alert. For a time, it will be clouded by the massive waves of signals from my body. But it will be untouched. It will exist on it's own, somehow detached and still in control.
So the basic scenario amounts to something like this: I love the paraphernalia and I love the sex. Oh yes, baby, no doubt about that. But something's missing. It's quiet. It's "and then we go to the bedroom ..." withour prior mind games. It is this mind clit being left dried up and aching. And it's Kal, wanting it all, but with that expression on his face ... "what the hell is she talking about? Exactly?".
Therefore, the next post in this category will be "How to tungue a mind clit", where I'll try to make it all a little less abstract. In the meantime, I suggest that you read the two novels published by Remittance girl. They are a study in mind work. I've re-read both of them recently, and the conquering of minds in those stories is still unsurpassed. So go and read Divestiture and The Waiting Room. Another good read is Letters to an Angel. Neko's writings are never all body. The mind clit stimulation is a crucial part in every post he writes.
Enjoy! And by the way: do comment and give your input for the next post, if you have some good examples of how to tongue, rub, lick and suck that mind clit. The post is only half done, and any ideas in on this issue will do a lot of people a lot of good, I'm sure! *smiles*
When I started writing this post, I wanted to nail this subject once and for all. I wanted to tell Kal and and the world what I mean by mind games, mind fucking, mental sex ... or however I should phrase the fact that to me, an important part of the kink happens in the mind. However, I'm not going to nail this in one single post. But I'll keep writing posts on this. I have to. It's as simple as that.First, I want to state very clearly that I do not see mind and body as too seperate things. The point here is, that my body wants to be reached through my mind. And it can be reached in a deeper and much, much kinkier sense than by old fashioned, physical stimulation. For me to really be there, my mind clit must be stimulated. Now, what the hell does she mean by that?
See, my mind clit is erotically sensitive, just like the one between my legs. And, as the years of our marriage passes by, it becomes more and more so. When our relationship was new and sparkling, when we were madly in love and fucked like rabbits 2-3 times a day, the insanity of being in love made sure that my mind rested in my body. I was all body. A smell, a gaze, the mere promise of a touch. All this was sufficient to keep my mind clit happily erect and my body perpetually ready.
I think a lot of couples - who have been together for more than 10 years - knows that this euphoria subsides. Another kind of love replaces it. And when kids arrive, work gets tough and everyday takes its toll, the sex life suffers. Lust is difficult to find. And although men also lose their sex drive now and then, it seems that a lot of women simply lose interest. And it is my little theory, that one of the reasons for this is the fact that sex leaves their minds, and their mind clits are left untouched. Some women call it romance. Well, that may be one way to stimulate a mind clit, but it doesn't work on mine. I need a different kind of mind clit teasing, not being particularly romantic myself. We are all different, and out minds are reached in various ways. However, I think a lot of sex doesn't happen, because women's minds aren't teased, awoken, played with. And I think that this "fact" is emphasized even more in D/s type sex.
After realizing my submissive needs, I have been craving mindfucking like I crave water and food. I long for it. I don't know why this need is so strong, but I see it everywhere in submissives. I see it when Claire describes her inner monologue during a session. Mindfuck me! I see it when C. responds to B.'s leather glove stroking her face while he makes sure she remembers that she is his. I see Luci's mind thirsting, feel it's need like a strong current in everything she writes. And I sigh and re-read Neko's posts, because he rubs, licks and strokes Angel's mind clit with such domly love. To me, the mind play - as well as the ropes, the whips, the cuffs, the floggers and the blindfolds - is the very heart of D/s.
It's like this: I can have my nipples sucked and fingers slided between my thighs. I can be tied up, blindfolded and slapped in the ass. I can be fucked hard and long, from every possible position. But it almost amounts to the same old vanilla fucking, if my mind is left untouched and starving. My body will respond, yes. Of course it will, it's not dead... I will get horny and wet - and I will orgasm. But if my mind clit isn't touched, stroked or rubbed, the cuffs and the toys will feel as just "vanilla paraphernalia". My depths will not be reached. My mind will still be alert. For a time, it will be clouded by the massive waves of signals from my body. But it will be untouched. It will exist on it's own, somehow detached and still in control.
So the basic scenario amounts to something like this: I love the paraphernalia and I love the sex. Oh yes, baby, no doubt about that. But something's missing. It's quiet. It's "and then we go to the bedroom ..." withour prior mind games. It is this mind clit being left dried up and aching. And it's Kal, wanting it all, but with that expression on his face ... "what the hell is she talking about? Exactly?".
Therefore, the next post in this category will be "How to tungue a mind clit", where I'll try to make it all a little less abstract. In the meantime, I suggest that you read the two novels published by Remittance girl. They are a study in mind work. I've re-read both of them recently, and the conquering of minds in those stories is still unsurpassed. So go and read Divestiture and The Waiting Room. Another good read is Letters to an Angel. Neko's writings are never all body. The mind clit stimulation is a crucial part in every post he writes.
Enjoy! And by the way: do comment and give your input for the next post, if you have some good examples of how to tongue, rub, lick and suck that mind clit. The post is only half done, and any ideas in on this issue will do a lot of people a lot of good, I'm sure! *smiles*
