Wednesday, January 03, 2007
THE LITTLE THINGS IN LIFE
by Bliatz on April 20, 2005
The scents in the air are gradually released from their winter prison, and they seem to sharpen my senses. And with this sharpening of the senses I become acutely aware of myself as an erotic being. More daydreams. More sudden flashes of brutally erotic images weakening my knees, wetting my panties and hardening my nipples.
I've noticed that certain details keep re-emerging, forcing themselves into my defenseless mind and turning me on by surprise attacks when I wait for the coffee to finish at work. When I take a mental break in front of the computer and drift off for a few seconds. When I fall asleep at night. If I replay those flashes, those fantasies, I have found out that I can actually zoom in on some of the details that are my triggers. I can identify the things that ignite my submission.
These ingredients have always been part of my sexual fantasies. Ever since I started masturbating, I think at the age of 11-12, they have been present in some form or other. I have very rarely had fantasies that didn't involve domination. They have been cultivated during the years, and after I recognized my submissive side, they have completely eliminated any vanilla flavor from my fantasies.
But I digress. I wanted to describe some of those details, and although they may seem banal, they are very powerful triggers to me. They may not be that to others, as we're all different. Here are a couple of my favorite flashes:
Being muted. Preferably by having a hand pressed against my mouth, but not necessarily. The idea of gags, scarfs and other things that'll quiet or muffle my noises send shivers down my spine as well. A hand is the number one in my fantasies, though. It's closer, more powerful and more direct. In a flash, I feel that hot hand over my burning lips, hear my moans and screams, guttural and muffled, not escaping me. I wish I could replay how it sounds in my mind and how that hand feels. *shivers* Well, I might be able to share the sounds with you later on - if I can persuade Kal (and his beautiful, strong hands) to assist me...
Being described - and not in poetic language. Verbal abuse stating what I look like when I'm immersed in my own lust. That this is a trigger may not be a surprise, if you are familiar with my word whore tendencies, and naturally, it reflects my desire for dirty talk, for verbal abuse and whispered control. But often, in my fantasies, it is specifically a description. A very nasty description on how my nipples look, how slutty they are when they're all erect and burning, how my pussy glistens and how ready I am for it. In fact, I think that type of fantasy - that running commentary - is meant to emphasize the fact that my body is betraying me. That is has betrayed my sense of control. I cannot escape myself or the fact that I AM a willing slut if all the signs of it are described to me in every nasty detail.
Being handled. Now this can entail so many things. It can be subtle or it can be close to brutal. But it is never really gentle. It is manhandling me with confident moves. Controlling moves. Dis-empowering ones. Examples can be:
* A subtle move like having my head forced slightly back by the hair. The exposure of my throat. No doubt that move sends signals to a completely subliminal level, the baring of the throat is immediate danger and complete vulnerability. It triggers me deeply and carries part of the power exchange.
* Being pacified by having a knee pressed against my back while my ass is in the air. The use of the knee as an instrument of pacification is a strong image and it seems to pop up in my fantasies with regular intervals.
* Having my wrists held in a tight grip. There's something vulnerable about my wrists. It's not just the feeling of being overpowered. Not just the immobilization. It's the feeling too, the sensory input in itself. When my wrists are held in a firm grip, I can feel how fragile those bones are. Feel my pulse just beneath that silky, soft, almost transparent skin. I think I have nerves there similar to those in a kitten's neck. Pacifying ones.
* Being pressed against a wall. Again, I think the immobilization triggers me, but the wall adds something extra. It adds a sense of urgency, a sense of taming. I can feel that presence behind me, but I can't see it. I feel the hands doing as they please and his knees spreading my legs, but I can't see him. I can't turn my head. Quite typical female faceless fantasy - but with a submissive twist.
Being half dressed. In these sudden flashes, I am rarely naked. Instead, I have my shirt or skirt roughly lifted or my jeans pulled halfway down. Again, the sense of urgency. The feeling of quick, dominant access. Of being taken, whenever it's needed.
I'll keep hunting down these details, because they are some of the feedback that I owe Kal. I need to take these flash fantasies seriously and describe to him what, exactly, triggers that submissive urge in me. It is not necessarily elaborate scenarios. Not always planned play with an elaborate psychological power exchange. Sometimes it's just those little things in life.
Mmmmmm! Spring is getting to me. Fortunately, I might add.
The scents in the air are gradually released from their winter prison, and they seem to sharpen my senses. And with this sharpening of the senses I become acutely aware of myself as an erotic being. More daydreams. More sudden flashes of brutally erotic images weakening my knees, wetting my panties and hardening my nipples.
I've noticed that certain details keep re-emerging, forcing themselves into my defenseless mind and turning me on by surprise attacks when I wait for the coffee to finish at work. When I take a mental break in front of the computer and drift off for a few seconds. When I fall asleep at night. If I replay those flashes, those fantasies, I have found out that I can actually zoom in on some of the details that are my triggers. I can identify the things that ignite my submission.
These ingredients have always been part of my sexual fantasies. Ever since I started masturbating, I think at the age of 11-12, they have been present in some form or other. I have very rarely had fantasies that didn't involve domination. They have been cultivated during the years, and after I recognized my submissive side, they have completely eliminated any vanilla flavor from my fantasies.
But I digress. I wanted to describe some of those details, and although they may seem banal, they are very powerful triggers to me. They may not be that to others, as we're all different. Here are a couple of my favorite flashes:
Being muted. Preferably by having a hand pressed against my mouth, but not necessarily. The idea of gags, scarfs and other things that'll quiet or muffle my noises send shivers down my spine as well. A hand is the number one in my fantasies, though. It's closer, more powerful and more direct. In a flash, I feel that hot hand over my burning lips, hear my moans and screams, guttural and muffled, not escaping me. I wish I could replay how it sounds in my mind and how that hand feels. *shivers* Well, I might be able to share the sounds with you later on - if I can persuade Kal (and his beautiful, strong hands) to assist me...
Being described - and not in poetic language. Verbal abuse stating what I look like when I'm immersed in my own lust. That this is a trigger may not be a surprise, if you are familiar with my word whore tendencies, and naturally, it reflects my desire for dirty talk, for verbal abuse and whispered control. But often, in my fantasies, it is specifically a description. A very nasty description on how my nipples look, how slutty they are when they're all erect and burning, how my pussy glistens and how ready I am for it. In fact, I think that type of fantasy - that running commentary - is meant to emphasize the fact that my body is betraying me. That is has betrayed my sense of control. I cannot escape myself or the fact that I AM a willing slut if all the signs of it are described to me in every nasty detail.
Being handled. Now this can entail so many things. It can be subtle or it can be close to brutal. But it is never really gentle. It is manhandling me with confident moves. Controlling moves. Dis-empowering ones. Examples can be:
* A subtle move like having my head forced slightly back by the hair. The exposure of my throat. No doubt that move sends signals to a completely subliminal level, the baring of the throat is immediate danger and complete vulnerability. It triggers me deeply and carries part of the power exchange.
* Being pacified by having a knee pressed against my back while my ass is in the air. The use of the knee as an instrument of pacification is a strong image and it seems to pop up in my fantasies with regular intervals.
* Having my wrists held in a tight grip. There's something vulnerable about my wrists. It's not just the feeling of being overpowered. Not just the immobilization. It's the feeling too, the sensory input in itself. When my wrists are held in a firm grip, I can feel how fragile those bones are. Feel my pulse just beneath that silky, soft, almost transparent skin. I think I have nerves there similar to those in a kitten's neck. Pacifying ones.
* Being pressed against a wall. Again, I think the immobilization triggers me, but the wall adds something extra. It adds a sense of urgency, a sense of taming. I can feel that presence behind me, but I can't see it. I feel the hands doing as they please and his knees spreading my legs, but I can't see him. I can't turn my head. Quite typical female faceless fantasy - but with a submissive twist.
Being half dressed. In these sudden flashes, I am rarely naked. Instead, I have my shirt or skirt roughly lifted or my jeans pulled halfway down. Again, the sense of urgency. The feeling of quick, dominant access. Of being taken, whenever it's needed.
I'll keep hunting down these details, because they are some of the feedback that I owe Kal. I need to take these flash fantasies seriously and describe to him what, exactly, triggers that submissive urge in me. It is not necessarily elaborate scenarios. Not always planned play with an elaborate psychological power exchange. Sometimes it's just those little things in life.
Mmmmmm! Spring is getting to me. Fortunately, I might add.
