Dirty Talking Man

You were finding it increasingly difficult to become lubricated. After several lengthy discussions with female friends on the subject, you decided to seek out some professional assistance. A friend told you to get with a specialist having experience with your particular problem. Thus, you called me on the phone.

You: Hi, my friend referred me to you.

Me: She told me you’d be calling.

You: Oh, good, then I don’t have to explain.

Me: I have to ask you some very personal questions first.

You: Ask me anything.

Me: Tell me about your sexual experiences.

You: Not much to tell. I call him the “Minuteman” because he’s done in about a minute. No lie.

Me: That’s got to be frustrating.

You: Well, actually, I’m glad it’s over quickly. He’s not any good at it anyway.

Me: What would make it better for you?

You: I’d like it rough. I want to be fucked hard and fast for a long time.

Me: Do you think sex is dirty?

You: Oh, yes. And I’d like to be real nasty, but I can’t.

Me: Why not?

You: I’m a good girl. I would never do anything naughty!

Me: What if someone made you do filthy things?

You: Well, I guess I’d have to do it, wouldn’t I?

Me: I need to examine you and do some tests to see if there’s anything physically wrong with you.

You: OK, where’s your office.

Me: We better not do this in my office. We’ll have to do this in a motel room.

You: Really!

Me: Yes, examination, tests and treatments for this have to be done in a motel room.

You: OK, I guess I need to do this. When can I see you?

Me: Tomorrow, I'll call you with the room information.