Dirty Talking Man

My word choices are dirty (to me). I explained in the first post of this blog that what one considers dirty ‘erotic’ talk varies from person to person just like other matters of personal taste and opinions. Turn-ons and sexual fetishes are unique and different in all of us.

I've never been comfortable with the terms "dominance and submission." In the unique kind of relationship that I want, it's ideal if both people are striving to have a fair or equal partnership. At the same time, there is a relinquishing of control in sex that gives my partner the ability to reach a sublime release. Inequites in my sexual relationships have created issues that can get in the way of me getting what I want. Seeking sexual equilibrium is an unselfish (but intrinsically selfish) way of trying to find a balance of various factors for the two of us that works well in satisfying each other's wants, needs and desires.

People land on this blog and leave immediately. My stat counter records numerous hits where the length of stay is 0 seconds. Those may be the people who are hitting the "Next Blog" button. Some read longer, but leave hastily. I imagine that most of those people think, "Oh, my God. This man is a misogynist. He hates women and wants to hurt them. It's disgusting!" They have jumped to the wrong conclusion or they simply regard this as obscenity they don't want to see. Since most of those reading this have come here from a link on Bliatz's blog, you are not only likely to be very open-minded, but may be interested in more edgy behavior than has been depicted here so far.

I want to make it clear that I adore women. I am driven to please a woman. I don't want to cause any kind of hurt or harm to anyone. I would never take a woman to a place where she doesn't want to go. I don't need a safeword to tell me I've gone further than I should. Nevertheless, you should have one when safety might be an issue.

It is highly erotic for me to get a woman into a helpless mental state. I've never met a woman that didn't like to reach that point where she loses control (usually because it happens in combination with orgasmic bliss), but many of them are not comfortable with admitting it. Perhaps, it's because they don't understand the dynamics of it. There's a vulnerability they don't wish to acknowledge. It's something they just want to experience, but don't want to anazlye why they like it. It's easier to just be joyfully pleased with having great sex. After all, they have plenty of other more important things to spend their mental energy on...

I can understand not wanting to reveal what thoughts run through your head just before you cum. It might be something that could hurt your partner's feelings. It's similar to not wanting to disclose what you're thinking about while masturbating. It opens the ugly possibility of jealously and feeling diminished, cheated or denied of your rightful place prominently in the frontal lobe of your partner's sexual psyche.

Maybe it's something you want to keep to yourself. It's what makes you so hot that you don't want knowledge of it being used inappropriately by your partner in life. In some cases, you are willing to let someone else take you there. In a way, it's safer to trust a stranger with your innermost secrets. Those whose can share your most wicked desires with their partner in life are very lucky.

I like the terms "subby and subspace" but it's difficult to explain what I mean when I use these terms to someone without much background in BDSM. The one woman who called herself a "sub" right away when I first met her was very controlling in her own way. Someone who has read enough or experimented enough can pick and choose where they want to be in the spectrum of sexual possibilities, but I don't meet women who fit into that category in real life.

Sexual pleasure is largely a mental experience. I try to describe the mental state where a woman stops thinking about anything and let's herself go to her pure natural instincts and feelings . She gives everything up to me and just absorbs being totally used sexually.

I have issues with the terms "Master" and "slave." I think it has to do with my abhorence of real slavery. Thus, those terms are trigger thoughts of hate and violence that turn me off.

I'm on the fence regarding the use of the term "Sir." I think it may be necessary sometimes in the process of getting someone to give up control. There may be a need to get vocal confirmation that the woman is transferring power over her to her partner.